It was already 1 o clock and she was drunk heavily and and we both were trying to sleep.I was facing the opposie side instead of facing her on bed. It was the mossst comfortable position for me! After few minutes, she started making sounds of discomfort and sounds that make me feel that she is having bad dreams. I was just hearing those sounds and trying to sleep. Suddenly she has put her hand on me with little shivering and tried to hold me. I was like a hug from beside. I had no problem as I was very sleepy and I was half asleep already, but I could feel the waves of her nerves shivering and she hugging me more tightly. This time I felt the discomfort as she was creating a breathing problem for me. He hand was near my throat making me difficult to breath. I tried to remove that hand (remember she is drunk and still acting that she is scared and having bad dreams)He has held me more tightly with more shivering as a response. Now she started talking why don’t you understand few. .I came for the 1st timeI recall.... That was the 1st time I remember. From there I starting todress more.Going to goodwill during college breaks to pickup some dresses or try ona wedding dress.There was a time I explored much more of my femininity in my late 20'searly 30's. Going out dressed en femme, shopping shopping =), going toclub dances, meeting other sisters like me, goin to various meetups andparades dressed. It was a alive exp.Then something happened and stopped exploring, a failed encounter with aguy one night in a bar, made me think I wasn't up to being a gurl sinceof rejection. Somehow that stopped me,.... Leaving me in a gray area...failed as a man, failed as a girl.I still dress, butNow I'm more man than girl for now since of work life and fam.During exploration in my early 30's I felt more gurl than boy for those1-2 years.Now in my mid/ate 30's I just feel lazy and fat and big, losing interestin many things, except the dream of being feminine. Dressing girly fromthe.
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